all’s well that ends well November 22, 2004
So my friends won first prize in the drag show Saturday night! Which, if you ask me, is only logical; of course the official campus feminists would be kick-ass drag kings. And I really wish I could have been there to see it. But, it’s just as well I wasn’t in the act, ’cause guess who was one of the judges?
That’s right. TeacherCrush.
And I had a meeting with her this morning to discuss my term paper, which I survived fairly well, but there is no way in hell I would have come out of it alive if I had spent Saturday night prancing around in front of her with tube socks stuffed in my crotch.
god, I didn’t know it was possible to die of theoretical embarrasment, but just the thought of it makes me want to crawl in a hole and end it all.
Anyway, I saw the pictures, and they all looked fantastic. I’ll send you some L., as soon as I get copies; just wait till you see J. in her mullet wig. She looked exactly, in her words, “like a Mexican gangster.” I mean they were seriously butch. It’s awesome.
Speaking of butch, I got my CDs from Amazon this morning (about damn time):
The Butchies, Make Yr Life: 3 (fucking gorgeous) butch dykes, 1 bad-ass punk band. I know crap about pop music so I’ll just leave it to them:
The Butchies’ fourth record is like alpenglow (a reddish glow seen near sunset or sunrise of the summits of mountains) absorbing into your pores – it simply commands a high-energy, emotionally-stuffed response. Make Yr Life is a colossal, intimate connection between the unrivalled punk-rock trio and their audience. It’s like waking from a coma, or like having your dog lick away your tears, or like the first kiss with that sexy girl with moonlight splashed on her face. But it’s also true that Kaia, Melissa and Alison’s intent with this record is simple: World Domination. If after listening to this 10-track cream dream you don’t feel like you just had one of the biggest epiphanies of your life, you clearly voted for Bush, and are immune to evolution. Make Yr Life is undoubtedly the record that will facilely evolve the music world as we know it (Mothership not included.)
and, I can’t believe it took me this long to get this one, Tete’s A la faveur de l’automne. (How the fuck do you do accents on this thing???) (Le site est tout en francais, but if you click on the “M” circle you can figure out how to navigate around) L. turned me on to Tete and I’ve been profoundly grateful ever since. There’s a lot of Quebecois slang and dialect, so I really have no idea what the heck he’s saying, but I adore him anyway. Of course it reminds me of my month in France, but wierdly enough it brings up lots of food memories. Freshly baked batardes, and tartes aux fraises (oh sacred heart of jesus those are wonderful. L., do me a favor, run out and eat one of these for me–they have them in Austria I guess–so I can at least enjoy it vicariously), orangina, proper quiches, Swiss chocolate, drinking expressos at Le Cafe d’horloge, mmm…
I can’t figure out if all this food nostalgia is in anticipation of Thanksgiving, or a result of the fact that my meal plan ran out and I’ve been living off pop-tarts and oatmeal for the last week or so.
Anyway, yeah, so I have one more paper to write for tomorrow, and then it’s off to Suburban Wasteland for a few days decent food and subconcious family tensions. Hope you have a good Thanksgiving L.! Pig out on some good European food and Austrian beer. I’ll probably write you while I’m home.
please excuse the stress-and-hormone-induced ravings November 20, 2004
WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME JENA MALONE IS IN THE NEXT PRIDE AND PREJUDICE ADAPTATION?!?!?!???
::jumps up and down screeching like a school-girl::
And she’s playing Lydia! Like, omigod!!
And you straight girls go on about your Mr. Darcy and Colin Firth and wet shirts. Pshaw, I say. I’ve got Lizzy and Keira Knightley* and Jena Malone! In Regency dresses! omigawd!
*yes, I’m still in a torrid love/hate relationship with Keira; right now lust is winning out.
**edited to add: butch Jena!! completely dazed indeed
***oh god, it gets worse. They’ve got Rosamund Pike as Jane! There’s no way I’m going to survive this movie. I’ll just dissolve into a jibbering mess half-way through, in a puddle of MovieStarLust.
C. is okay. She wasn’t feeling well last night but she had some new medication that seemed to work. So, I think everything’s okay now.
I am not, unfortunately, going to be in the annual drag show tonight. Too much shit has hit the fan and I will be spending the evening in the library researching a term paper so I don’t make an ass out of myself when I meet with TeacherCrush to discuss it on Monday.
Okay. Back to work.
A word of advice November 18, 2004
To all the straight and bi chicks out there who might be reading this:
1. Use condoms. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. I know you’ve heard it before but I’m going lecture you again. I don’t care if it “feels better” without condoms. Too bad. DO NOT USE BIRTH CONTROL IN LIEU OF CONDOMS. That is a really fucking stupid idea. You will still get a sexually transmitted infection.
2. If you’re using birth control, get it from your doctor. Get a prescription (of course, you’ll have to find a pharmicist willing to fill the damn thing, but that’s another rant). DO NOT BORROW BIRTH CONTROL FROM A FRIEND. I know it’s hard to get an appointment with Planned Parenthood, I know that maybe your health insurance doesn’t cover it, I know you sometimes find yourself in situations where it’s difficult to obtain, but please, these are serious drugs you are messing with and it will fuck up your body if you don’t use it correctly. READ THE GODDAMN INFO BOOKLET. It’s there for a reason. Make sure you understand the consequences of putting strong chemicals into your body.
I’m telling you this because I just spent the entire day at the hospital, watching one of my closest friends (and my roommate), C., puking her guts out till she had no more guts to puke. And it wasn’t until an hour ago that I learned she had borrowed a pack of birth control from a friend of ours–she has a hot date this weekend. I read the info packet. You’re not supposed to take it if you have a history of migraines. C. has a history of migraines. All the side-effects it listed are exactly the symptoms she has. C. didn’t tell the doctor in the ER that she had started on birth control two days ago, probably because she was too busy vomiting and blacking out. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t know about it. I called up the hospital and informed the nurse, but they’ve been giving her drugs all day long without realizing she was on medication.
Jesus fucking christ almighty people!
Look. I’m a lesbian. My sex life currently is on par with that of a cloistered nun. My straight friends (read: all my friends) are fucking like goddamned bunnies and I know more about their health and safety risks than they do. This is a really fucked up scenario. I can get away without knowing shit about birth control. You straight girls can’t. Please please please please PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF. You can read, can’t you?