If one of my customers gets to proselytize at my register, handing me a card with Bible quotes and a little metal cross, then I get to put this (pdf) on his SUV windshield.
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strange fire 
nice. don’t get yourself killed passing those out…
yeah, well, I figure they gotta catch me first, and I’m a pretty fast runner…
but then again, we have a concealed weapons law here. Maybe I’ll just stick to fantasizing.